all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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