Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he thought i was a dude.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
