Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
