New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
time to smoke my breakfast
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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