whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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