my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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