Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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