if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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