Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
