The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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