So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
