idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
