its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
