based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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