I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We left an ass print on the piano.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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