ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
