I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
