Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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