Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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