how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
