tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
