He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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