White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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