I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Your penis caused this!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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