Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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