He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
