Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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