I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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