you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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