So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
