I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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