how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
