what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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