I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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