i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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