Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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