So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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