All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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