you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
