Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh god it's open bar.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
