just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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