I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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