What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
