Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
