I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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