Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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