If i come over, it means nothing
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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