I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
