how do flat chested girls get laid?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
