I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
