I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
